Self Destruction
by yestisme
Summary: James and Lily's tumultuous relationship succumbs to old habits. He won't win her back if he keeps that up. UPDATED at last.
1. Of ignorance and break ups

Self- Destruction

Disclaimer: If I were JKR, I wouldn't be on this site for sure.

Summary: After a fed up Lily dumps James he begins to succumb to his old bad boy tendencies. He's not going to win her back any time soon if he keeps that up..

Chapter One: Of Ignorance and Break-ups

James Potter and Lily Evans were one of _those _couples; after taking a solid seven years to finally get together, with many bets and much interference from the rest of the student population as well as the teachers from time to time, it seemed that this couple could do no wrong. Of course they fought, they wouldn't be James and Lily otherwise; their fights were always heated and over petty subjects such as The Great "Pass the Salt" Fight of March but they always made up and in a fashion that was typical of James and Lily: explosive. It seemed the more tumultuous the fight then the more ardent the make up, if you follow.

However, as of late a certain red head was less than satisfied with her relationship with everyone's favourite Marauder (although Sirius Black profusely commented otherwise, he _obviously _was everyone's favourite Marauder and he had the bed post to prove it); Lily did not play second string to anyones fiddle. James appeared to be more interested in goofing around with his bum boys than actually spending time with her; and we are not talking about snogging or shagging time but actual quality time, even a proper date would be nice…

Lily looked up at the clock in the Gryffindor common room: 10:43. James' arm was slung casually over her shoulders whilst he talked with his fellow Marauders about dung bombs or how Filch's cat had "mysteriously" disappeared once again or some other Marauder-ish topic. Lily was clearly bored. She thought if she yawned in a very over-the-top fashion with added hand gesture that James would finally get the message and retreat back to the Head dorms with her but after a good twenty minutes of doing said task she had yet to make any affect on her raven haired boyfriend who had moved on from Mrs Norris to how Sirius had finally managed to get with Dorcas Meadowes. Lily rolled her eyes at this as she thought "who _hasn't_ slept with Dorcas Meadowes?"

She finally made the decision to interrupt their "bubbling" conversation, "Jaaaames", she purred sweetly whilst battering her eyelashes. After hearing her tone he turned to look at her, flashing a lop-sided smile in her direction. "Yeeees, Lily?" he replied.

"Is there any chance of us going back to dorms I'm bloody tired to be perfectly honest".

James, although he wanted to avidly continue talking with his friends, just couldn't deny the angelic face that was staring up at him. "Fine, I'll meet you there in a bit", turning back to his Remus, Peter and Sirius.

"What?!" she said, a bit too loudly, disturbing the chess club in the corner who shot her the filthiest of looks, "I don't think that you follow, _darling, _that was an implication for you to come with me".

James sighed at the pouting face of his very beautiful girlfriend, "believe me Lilers, I gathered the implication but I kind of want to finish talking to the guys". The said Marauders were now ignoring the couple and were looking at Dorcas Meadowes who was amidst the process of seducing Julian Fenwick. "I promise I'll only be ten minutes and then I'm all yours for the rest of the night", he added nuzzling her neck.

Lily was far from impressed. This was the third time this week that he had ignored and it wasn't going down very well. She wasn't being selfish in demanding her boyfriend spend every waking moment with her but it seemed lately that she was nothing more than a trophy to sit next to in Charms and a booty call when he was feeling a bit randy. She surrendered to him though stating that she would be waiting for him and with that she left the room.

* * *

Lily paced the Head common room. 12.30, the clock read, 12 fucking 30. Who did he think he was? She thought about that for a moment, James fucking Potter that's who.

At that point the portrait of white knight swung open revealing an obviously drunk Mr Potter. "Lilers!" he greeted her, stumbling over the carpet in her direction and engulfing her in his arms.

Lily could smell the firewhisky of his breath, merlin, she bloody smelled it when he walked through the door. She pulled back from his grasp, "you went and got hammered with your bum boys AGAIN leaving me here for the fiftieth time this month!" she yelled. "Really, James. Am I your girlfriend or your house keeper because I'm not exactly feeling the love you know!"

James looked at her wide eyed, clearly dazed from the loud volume of her voice and the fact that this was news to him. "whaddyatalkingabout? I haven't been ignoring you, babe".

"Really?" said Lily, who was half ready to wring his neck, "Let me enlighten you, _babe_, blowing me off to go drinking with your bum boys, ignoring me all day and then conversing with me only during pillow talk, making me always do what you want to do and never even listening to a word I say is quite frankly a form of fucking ignorance, you twat!".

"Aww, Lily, I'm sorry. Come on into my room and and I'll make it up to you" said James in the sultriest of voices. He then proceeded to hitch up her skirt and made an attempt to seize her lips which Lily was not appreciative of, since he was only confirming what she had previously said.

"James, get off!" she said, turning her face so that he got a pale cheek instead of her lips but he ignored her and continued his ministrations by trying to pull down her underwear. "James, I said get the HELL off!", she squirmed against him and tried to push him away but to no avail as he only grabbed her more roughly causing her to be even more uncomfortable. She had had more than enough, "get the fuck off!" she cried, kneeing him in the crotch causing him to retreat back from her in pain.

"What the hell was that for Lily?" he glared at her, trying to keep himself from wincing at the painful sensation he was currently revelling in.

"What was it for? That was for trying to force yourself upon me you dolt!"

A look of realisation came on James' face, "I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean to hurt you".

"That's not the point, James", said Lily as tears made their way from her eyes and travelled down her cheeks. "You ignore me. You make me feel like this… sad James, all the time. I don't think that I can take anymore of this. You ignoring me, me hurting, then you apologising and reverting back to the same problem again. I want you to love me, James".

A heartbroken James looked down at the trembling figure of the red headed beauty standing in front of him but could not bring himself to reach out and hug her. "I do love you. More than anything, more than anyone."

Lily looked up at his face which was distorted due to the immense tears welling up in her eyes. "Sometimes, James. Love isn't enough. It's not just a word. It's an action. A feeling. Which for a long time, I haven't been feeling. This just can't go on and neither can we…"

James quickly interrupted when he sensed where her speech was going, "Lily, please don't do this. I can change".

Lily smiled sadly, "you already have changed" and with that she walked to the door of your bedroom leaving a broken James standing on his own in the middle of his room feeling a mix of sadness, hopelessness and anger.


	2. Of rumours and bathrooms

Chapter 2: Of Rumours and Bathrooms

Within less than eight hours, the entire school had heard about the James Potter and Lily Evans break up in the early hours of that morning. Having previously enjoyed gossiping about them during the time that they went out, the students found no better hobby than to speculate about the reason as to why they broke up.

"I heard that Lily walked in on James with Dorcas Meadowes"

"But I heard that she was with Julian that night"

"Before!"

* * *

"I heard that Lily actually fancies Sirius Black and was using James to get to him"

"Merlin, that totally makes sense now"

* * *

Lily was dying to get away from the rumours about her; she much too depressed to deal with the whole charade and so enlisted her best friend Emmeline to handle the pestering that she came into contact with. After enduring endless scrutiny during Potions, which luckily James was not in after Slughorn banned him due to the potion which caused Snape's nose to expand to a colossal size, she skipped herbology and went to sulk in the first floor girls bathroom.

"Can you believe that they broke up?" said the first voice. Lily shot her head up and recognised the voice to be Alicia Cummings, one of James' previous girlfriends lasting from November until February. Wanting not to be discovered Lily brought her legs off of the floor and strained her ears so as to hear what the girls were saying.

"To be honest, Al, I saw it coming from a mile off. I mean, no couple is ever that perfect".

Alicia snorted. "Hell yeah. Although I must say that me and James were pretty good together."

"How long did you two go out for?"

"About three months before he dumped me for that slag Evans. She's not even that pretty y'know and merlin did you see her during Potions? She looked a complete wreck. Honestly does that girl not understand the use of make up?"

The other voice started laughing, "I've seen Snape look more appealing! James is just gonna move on and find someone else. The new flavour of the month; he only liked her because she rejected him, did she honestly think that she was going to last long? Poor girl".

The voices continued cackling and left the bathroom, Lily walked out of the cubicle that she was hiding in and went to face the mirror. She did look a wreck and it wasn't going to help the situation any further so she splashed some water on her face and smiled. It looked like a fake smile yes but a vast improvement upon the sullen expression of before. She heard the bell go and began to make her way to the Great Hall for lunch but upon reaching the door she stopped dead and realised: where was she going to sit? Naturally she'd sit with Emmeline and Alice but Frank was good friends with the Marauders and would definitely sit with them meaning that Alice would sit with him and then Emmeline with Alice. She really didn't want to face James but the overpowering feeling of hunger berated her.

The moment that she walked in through the door the hall fell silent and she felt every pair of eyes on her including a set of hazel ones. She was completely right in that Emmeline, Alice and Frank were sitting with the Marauders and she walked up to the spare seat next to them. Had she not heard Alicia and "whatsherface" talking about her in the toilet then perhaps she would have sat next to them but not wanting to risk their prying she sat down next to her friends.

The whole group fell silent upon her arrival and the awkwardness was penetrable. Lily stared straight at the chicken sandwich infront of her, purposefully avoiding James' eyes who at this moment were burning a hole in her forehead.

It was Remus who, tentatively, tried to start a conversation by commenting on the up and coming quidditch match on Saturday: Gryffindor Vs Ravenclaw. This stirred up quite the debate amongst the others who argued over Fletcher's ability at keeper.

"He's a poofter y'know", said Sirius matter-of-factly.

"What?" replied Emmeline clearly offended as it was obvious news that she harboured a huge crush on the keeper.

"Yep" confirmed Sirius, "caught him looking at me whilst I was in the showers I did"

The others were clearly interested in Sirius' tale and began speculating on the attractive seventh year's sexuality but Lily and James remained quiet. Lily dragged her eyes from her plate and took a quick glance at James who was staring straight at her; he cocked his head to the side and gave a hopeless grin, mouthing the words "I'm sorry". _That _was the last thing that Lily wanted to hear; she didn't want another half hearted apology and the fact that he seemed to be treating their break up and some sort of a joke really peeved her off. She stood up from the table and turned on her heel and walked towards the exit. The group all turned to look at her and then averted their eyes towards James who hastily stood up and attempted to follow her.

"Errr, Prongs" stammered Remus, "I wouldn't do that if I were you". James shot him _the_ look and then proceeded to walk out the door. "Shutting up now" murmured Remus.

* * *

Lily heard someone running behind her and knowing that it was James she quickened her pace. Naturally James, being 6'3 and athletic from quidditch, soon caught up with her; she felt his large calloused hand wrap around her wrist and twirl her around to face him.

"That's it? You're not going to even talk to me then?" said James, staring directly into her emerald eyes. "You can't be serious about this whole thing, it's just another fight."

"No, Potter, that's the problem, it's not another fight!" quipped Lily. "You see when a girl dumps a boy, she expects the boy to bugger off and leave her alone not stalk her."

"Firstly, I didn't realise that we were on last name basis again, _Evans_, and I'm fully aware of break up protocol you know, which is why I'm currently not following it since we are not broken up!"

"Well, _I'm_ aware that _you're_ aware of break up protocol considering you have a list of ex-girlfriends longer than the Great Hall" said Lily, stabbing him in the chest with her finger as she said each word. "But I'll have you know that since being the dumper I incited you as the 'dumpee'… so to speak".

"Why are you being such a bitch about it?" started James, ticked off by Lily's tone of voice.

"Excuse me I'm not being a bitch but all your ex girlfriends are. Was I just the flavour of the week or something? To tide you over being single?" demanded Lily.

James' eyes darkened; clearly Lily had struck a nerve, "no you weren't the flavour of the week and you know that for a fact".

"I did, did I? Must be why I felt so loved all the time huh?"

That was what did it. That one line from Lily crushed James as everything sank in. This was actually happening. She was through with him. After seven years of asking her out four times a day, waiting for her after every class and becoming almost consumed with thoughts of her. Changing for her and now she was dumping him in front of the statue of Sturgis the one-eyed gnome to top it all off.

"Okay then. I guess this is it," said James, his voice drained of all emotion and tone. "Have a nice life".


	3. Of disintegration and McGonagoll

Of disintegration and McGonagoll 

Elapsed time since break up: 73 hours

Number of times Lily has "psshed" whenever another girl flirts with James: 139

Number of times James has ruffled hair in an irritated fashion: 296

* * *

Hogwarts was divided. It was common law that you had to choose a side: James or Lily. Lily or James. Head boy or head girl.

Generally all the females, quidditch players and pranksters sided with James; Lily gained the support of James' ex-girlfriends who he had alienated, the boys who hated James and in all practicality the teachers. Oh yes, they chose a side thus showing the extent of the couple's dispute; Horace Slughorn was so much in favour of Lily that you'd think that he'd be mass producing "Team Evans" t-shirts by this stage.

After lunch was transfiguration, this was the deal breaker and the highlight of the school's day as it was the one lesson where James and Lily would be forced to sit with one another. Professor McGonagoll in all due fairness was sympathetic towards the two, however, her seating plan was not to be changed and so the couple would simply have to put up with one another. Easier said than done. In the past 73 hours, rumours from either camp had started to emerge and neither were sparing in details, Lily had shown no remorse in embarrassing James in telling everyone that he continued to sleep with the baby blanket that his mother had knitted him and how he would often wax his chest. James' remarks were slightly more below the belt, with him revelling in the scandalous details of his and Lily's past sex life, however, she had very much expected this and displayed no reaction only commenting to Julia Figmore that James was always more than satisfied, "Julia, i excell in everything that i do".

The bell went and all the students proceeded to walk to their classes; in the first floor transfiguration room every seat apart from the two in the very centre were filled. Lily and James entered through the door at the same time and seemed to make some sort of effort to acknowledge one another.

"Sirius, Peter, Remus…… Potter", Lily said in a formal fashion.

"Emmeline, Alice, Frank… … Evans", replied James curtly. He made a gesture for Lily to walk into the classroom first whilst quipping "ladies first, Evans".

Lily snorted "then why aren't you and your little Marauders walking through first then, Potter?"

James merely laughed whilst Sirius was far from content, "excooooth me Lily, I'm not to be riled up over this but I'll have you know that I am as far from being feminine as Snape is from getting a girlfriend so if you would please refrain -"

"Sirius," interjected Remus, "just sit down". Abiding by the law of his werewolf friend Sirius huffed and made his way to his seat crossing his arms and mumbling.

It appeared that Lily and James were having some sort of a glaring contest, James looking down at Lily and Lily having to draw her head back so she make eye contact with the raven headed, head boy. Professor McGonagoll who up until this point was sitting at her desk waiting to call role felt the need to announce "oh for the love of Merlin's beard, would you two just sit down. Honestly, is it going to be worse than when you actually were together?" James and Lily made their way towards their desk and thumped down in their respective chairs, hoping to out do the other my sitting down in a louder. Lily shuffled her chair closest to the corner of her desk in the hopes of having to create a larger gap between her and the boy she was currently referring to as "the four-eyed Neanderthal who seemed to be incapable of grooming himself".

McGonagoll rolled eyes at the ministrations taking place in the middle of her classroom and tried to grab the attention of her class by announcing the new topic of transfiguring stones into bread. "Now, in pairs I want you all to practice the incantation and please remember the wrist movement… and Mr Black please try to refrain from eating the experiment this time."

The class then proceeded to carry out the task until James Potter felt the need to express his current view on the situation, "Minerva, if you wouldn't mind I'd rather not have to work with Evans; I find that my own skill is being affected by the fact that my partner's transfiguration ability is as bad as the smell in Filch's office".

The class laughed and Lily was deeply offended by this comment (no one dared question her capability at any subject), "Professor, please ignore my partner since his mental capacity is about as in depth as that of a chocolate frog".

This was beginning to turn into yet another "verbal altercation" or in pop culture terms: a slanging match. "Minnie, isn't funny that someone whose hair is the colour of pumpkin mash actually thinks that she can be taken seriously?"

"Enough! Both of you!" yelled McGonagoll, "could you please try to be civil? 10 points from Gryffindor each and an extra 5 for Mr Potter who doesn't seem to understand that I am to be addressed by my formal title. Now could everyone please avert their eyes to the board please?"

James felt the need to pipe up again, "sorry to disturb your intriguing lecture, _Professor, _but I can't seem to make out what's on the blackboard since the glare of Evan's hair is diminishing my eye dexterity".

Lily was fuming now, "you insufferable git, you don't even know what dexterity means! Professor, I just can't put up with him. Please, I am begging you, move me!"

James was all for Lily offer, "yes Professor move her closer to the front so that she will be better able to kiss up to you from there".

"Potter enough! Get out of my classroom and don't come back until you learn some respect!" to which Lily murmured "highly unlikely".

James took a bow and left the classroom but not before adding one final remark, "of course Minerva my dear, oh and Evans, if you're trying to deter the male population by frumping yourself up then Merlin, its bloody well working, love".

* * *

**Author's Note: **I understand that a make up between the two seeming far off at this stage but their relationship has got to get a lot worse before it can get better. In the next instalment I think that there needs to be a bit of a stir up. Perhaps a party to get the blood pumping, you're all invited but only if you **review**!


	4. Of parties and social embarrassment

Of parties and social embarrassment 

Time Elapsed time since break up: 97 hours

Number of points lost from Gryffindor due to disrespect from both parties: 35

Number of Head student meetings cancelled without reason: 2

* * *

Lily yawned again as Professor Sprout continued to bang on about the healing properties of the Mandrake plant yadda yadda… basilisks and such… honestly when would that come into use? Lily felt suddenly saw a piece of parchment levitate onto her desk and looked around but saw no one staring in her direction so she tentatively picked it up and unfolded it.

_**Lilers, are you going to Michael Wood's birthday tonight in the room of requirement. – Alice.**_

_Apparently so. Is the mutant going to be there? – Lily_

_**James? Um yeah probably he and Wood are on the quidditch team together. Honestly, can't you get over it, the joke was funny!**_

_I beg your pardon Alice? I don't think that having my shoes stuck to the floor of the great hall is particularly funny!_

_**Well you got them off didn't you?**_

_No! they're still there! I had to take my shoes off and go barefoot to potions!_

_**Um, gross! Uh oh! Old Lady Sprout is coming over! Hide the note! **_

_You!_

_**No you!**_

_Where then?_

_**I don't know! You're the creative one!**_

"Excuse me Miss Evans but what are you feeding your Mandrake plant?"

* * *

James, Sirius, Peter and Remus walked into the Room of Requirement dead on 9.00pm. Late enough to make an entrance but early enough to bag the good food. Over a hundred students were dancing to the loud music and the atmosphere was wild; "yep guys, its gonna be a good night" cooed Sirius eyeing up a blonde Ravenclaw girl in the corner, "if you don't mind there's a punch bowl to be spiked and blonde to get to know so I'll see you guys later". Sirius disappeared into the vast crowd as the other Marauders rolled their eyes at the predictable behaviour of their shaggy haired friend.

"Bugger me! I'm starving", moaned Peter.

"Wormtail, you're always starving" noted James, as the remaining three Marauders made their way to food table. After helping themselves to the firewhiskey spiked punch bowl (courtesy of Messr. Padfoot) and pumpkin pasties, James couldn't help but scan the crowd, his eyes wandered from bulky Hufflepuffs, to scrawny Ravenclaws to Lily who was dancing with Wood… James almost choked on his punch. Remus looked over at his friend and followed his gaze to the beautiful red head who was currently dancing rather provocatively with James' fellow chaser. James fumed. It hadn't even been a week and she had already assigned herself another prey? Although James had been flirting with quite the number of girls as of late, he hadn't any intention doing anything further.

Remus seemed to sense his friend's thoughts, "Prongs, there's nothing you can do mate. It's not as if she's doing anything wrong… now."

James ignored Remus' comment and headed straight for the couple in the corner of the room. Wood saw James coming from a distance and jumped about two metres from Lily. He didn't want to anger his captain not the night before the quidditch match anyway. "Potter", Wood said, very nervously, "You came".

James raised an eyebrow at the six foot boy who seemed to have shrunken to almost a miniscule size, "Wouldn't miss your birthday for the world mate, mind if I borrow Evans a second?"

Lily who up until this point had remained silent looked shocked that James wanted to converse with her of his own accord but due to the immense hatred that she currently had for him (not to mention the fact that she was this… close to kissing the very good looking Michael Wood) she refused profusely. "I'd rather stay here to be quite frank with you, Potter".

James had expected this sort of reply, "it wasn't a suggestion, Evans but thanks for the _frankness_ on your part", he smirked and grabbed her roughly by the arm, dragging her through the crowd who had now abandoned their dancing and had their eyes fixed on the two.

James had considered staying in the room of requirement to talk to Lily but knowing full well that this would turn into another heated argument; he decided that he would rather be spared the quick paced writing of Rita Skeeter's pen. When they got into the hallway, he let it rip, "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Lily observed James' stature, he was red in the face and had his fists firmly clenched, although she was slightly frightened by his current state, outwardly she tried to appear nonchalant, "dancing of course".

"Oh don't be smart with me, Evans", spat James "What do you think you were doing, dancing like… well, like that with that… that… pretty boy?"

Lily laughed, "oh no, don't let it be. You're jealous!" she accused.

James withdrew and although Lily's assumption was completely correct he debated otherwise, "What? Me jealous? Kidding me, Evans".

"You know I'm not one for making jokes, Potter. You couldn't act less bothered if you tried".

"Bothered? Of course I'm bloody bothered! It's been five days and you're acting like a complete slut in front every one we know? Hardly expected it from you, I assumed you had some morals. He's a complete player and you're fully aware of that!"

"He's the player? What about you? Before we were going out you were with every girl that you talked to and who even knows if it stopped whilst we were actually dating!"

James grabbed Lily by the shoulders drawing her close to him, his face was so close to hers that if he wasn't carrying the mother of all angry looks then Lily might've thought he was about to kiss her. "Don't ever make a comment like that again, understand?" James said in a low, calm voice which was laced with anger, "don't talk crap like that again when you know it's not true. I always said that I would be faithful to you"

Lily wrestled herself from his tight grip and looked him straight in the eyes, to see that they were darkened with anger. "Well, James, you always said that you'd love and care for me but that didn't work out did it?"

A look of realisation came across James' face as he smirked. "What?" said Lily, "why the expression, generally you'd be throwing something right about now."

James whispered in a proud voice, "you're not over me at all".

Lily snorted, "and what Sherlock, made you come to that decision?"

"You called me James."

Lily's face dropped. She did call him James. "That was just a reflex, Potter".

James leaned in, "I'm going to assume otherwise". He leaned forward and captured her lips roughly. It wasn't a loving or tender kiss, more so one that was proud and condescending. For a moment Lily sank in but realising that James was only proving a point by kissing her, she quickly retracted and slapped him square across the cheek. "Don't ever touch me again do you hear me, don't talk to me, don't look at me. Infact forget you even know me!"

James rubbed his now swollen cheek and shot her a look, "gladly, Evans, gladly". He then swiftly returned into the party and drowned his anger in firewhiskey as he watched Lily passionately kissing Michael Wood. He wasn't going to take that, he had to have one up on her so he too kissed someone. And someone else. And another. And another.

And as the crowd watched James lead a brunette girl out of the party and up to his room, they all began to realise that the old playboy who took no recognition for the rules was well and truly back.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Right now both Lily and James are feeling a mix of emotions and even I can't say that they still love one another but the underlying message is clearly there.

Until next time, review and such.


	5. Of falling into old habits

Of falling into old habits

Elapsed time since break up: 13 days

Number of fights between the two parties: 27 (resulting in one casualty of an innocent bystander)

Number of girls James has been through: 18

* * *

Are we back in sixth year again? Oh no it's merely 13 days into the break up of James Potter and Lily Evans. What with James' revisit to his old player-like tendencies, his disrespect for teachers and ultimately Lily herself, it appears that things are a bit déjá-vu.

Lily banged on the door of the bathroom that she shared with James a total of 9 times with each bang being more violent than the last, she had tried to civil with him as of late as she was well and truly 'over' their spat but James' attitude always seemed to get the better of her and here she was again getting riled up over his behaviour.

"Okay, James, it was funny at first its not funny anymore! Would you let me into the bathroom for merlin's sake, I need the bloody shower!" Lily puffed as she kicked the door violently. Then the answer dawned on her, "so he locked my door into the bathroom but I bet the git wasn't smart enough to lock his." Lo and behold she was right and she gained entry into the bathroom from James' side.

He was sitting on the sink, his hair characteristically messy and his uniform in disarray, smoking something of which the smell made Lily particularly suspicious. Her violent entry caught him slightly off guard as he fell into the sink he was perched on.

"Oi! What do you think you were doing going into _my_ room. You're not welcome in there anymore, Evans" said James, peeved.

"I suppose but I presumed since every other female in the school has been permitted entry as of late that it wouldn't be too much of an issue. Besides, you locked the door and I had to get in".

James realised that he had been thwarted but refused to apologise to his ex-girlfriend who was currently standing in front of him in the green nightie that he had grown quite partial to. "You bore me, Evans. What do want anyway?"

Lily rolled her eyes at his childish behaviour, "well, your highness, if its quite alright with you I would rather like to shower."

James raised an eyebrow, "Highness? Hmm, I like that. And by all means don't stop your course of action on my account."

"If you think I'm going to shower in front of you, you dirty pervert, then you're quite mistaken", said Lily, whose patience had well run out by this point.

James sighed and got off the sink and made his way to the door, "glad to see that you're back to being a prude, Evans, but I've perved on you many times whilst you were in the shower so it wouldn't be a bad idea to lock the door once in a while". Lily returned his comment by throwing a bar of soap at his face, knocking his glasses askew. Whilst he tried to put them back on she swiftly pushed him out of the room and locked the door. James yelled from the other side, "what? no good morning kiss then, Evans?"

"Crisis averted", she said before stripping off and getting into the steamy shower.

* * *

Lily and James made no effort to communicate with one another during Transfiguration (yes, they still had to sit together despite protests from both sides). After Professor McGonagoll had finished her lecture on the wrist movement of the current incantation the seventh year class were working on she called out to James and Lily who immediately straightened in their chairs under her steely gaze.

"Potter, Evans. My desk, now", she called from the front of the classroom as the other students quickly grabbed their things and headed towards the great hall for lunch. James and Lily sauntered up to the front, ready to be given their umpteenth lecture so far.

"It appears there hasn't been a head meeting in over two weeks. Do either of you care to explain?" Both of the heads stood quietly and made no effort to reply. "I understand that both of you are in a difficult position at the moment but would it kill you to sit down for fifteen minutes and discuss the patrol schedule which, by merlin, is a complete shambles as of late. The hufflepuffs refuse to work with the ravenclaws, the ravenclaws with the gryffindors and the slytherins won't work with anyone!"

Lily and James remained silent much to the displeasure of McGonagoll. "Right" she said through pursed lips, "tonight you two _will_ have a heads meeting, you _will_ be civil to one and you _will _not forget that you have a duty to do. Now, scamper along and act like adults."

Lily and James took heed of their Professor's word but whether they would be civil to one another for an extended period of time… that was going to be a challenge in itself.

* * *

Lily walked out of her room and into the head's common room which was lavishly decorated in mahogany wood, red velvet hangings and plush, leather arm chairs. James was sitting down already, flicking through the current issue of "Quidditch Weekly". Lily took a deep breath and walked in his direction, taking a mental note that she would try more than ever to be civil with him for their duties which unlike him, she took quite seriously. She collapsed on the couch adjacent to him, "so what are we going to do about the patrol schedule?"

James ignored her and flicked over the page in his magazine.

Lily made an audible cough and repeated the sentence, "I said, Potter, what are _we _going to do about the patrol schedule, 'we' being the operative word?"

James shrugged his shoulders, "don't know, don't care."

Lily was already fed up and it was only 40 seconds into the meeting. "Aren't you even going to try to work with me?"

James didn't look up, "nope", he hummed.

"Well, you used to be more than just capable of doing it before. What changed?"

"I used to be able to tolerate you but not anymore."

"Can't you just get over it? We didn't work out! Boo-bloody-hoo!"

James looked up at this statement and stared deep into her eyes. Lily gulped… angry James was about to rear his ugly, well, actually rather dashing head. "You say I'm the one with no morals Lily but you treat my feelings for you as some sort of passing thing."

Lily didn't know what to say but settled on the following, "well, they're past feelings now so why don't you just move on? Come on, Potter, the noises I hear from your room every night seem to be evident of your moving on".

James smirked, "Jealous, Evans?"

Lily rolled her eyes and spoke in the most sarcastic tone that she could muster, "yes, Potter, its killing me on the inside. Please, _please_ take me back, I'm gagging for you."

James stood up and threw Lily over his shoulder, "well, if you insist, Evans" he said to her as he made his way to his room. Lily kicked him in the stomach causing him to drop her promptly.

"Can't you perceive sarcasm you git?"

"Can't you take a joke? Honestly, Evans, where's the sense of humour?"

"Thrown in the trash can along with any past sympathy I ever had for you. You say that you still have feelings for me yet why do you act like the biggest ass around and treat me like shit? Its hardly going to make me want to jump back into your arms. And if you ever thought that bringing girls back every night is making me jealous then think again, Potter, because its only reaffirming that fact that you were the worst mistake I've made to date and any chances of me even considering getting back together with you are shot!" Lily finished her rant and ran back to her room where she collapsed against the wall whilst sobs racked her body. She couldn't explain whether they were tears of frustration or pain but it was the first time in 13 days where she had actually cried over the recent events in her life.

* * *

James stood in the same place in the common room, mulling over Lily's words: "Its hardly going to make me want to jump back into your arms", "you were the worst mistake I've made to date". Her words crushed him. Over the past two weeks he had tried to block out all his feelings but at the moment they were rushing into his mind all at once. He missed her. He argued with her so as to make sure that there was still some passion between them, although he would never admit this to anyone else and even now he found it hard to say it to himself.

He could have been standing there for an hour, he didn't know but he walked over to her room and found her lying on her bed still clad in her school uniform, her hair awash over her white pillows. He took her heavy cloak off her, trying not to wake her and pulled her sheets over her. He then stepped back and took the sight of her in; she lay peacefully on her bed, the bed which James had often slept in and woke up to find her laying beside him with her long hair sprayed over his chest. As he walked out the door he realised that what he had just seen might have been the last time he would ever see it.

One might think that what James had just experienced would have had changed his persona but a slightly crumpled piece of parchment sticking out of Lily's school bag was going to change that. He read it and he said aloud, "I've enjoyed dabbling in the art of sabotage"

**Lily, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me his weekend? – Wood**

_Yes, Michael, of course I'll go with you._

* * *

**Author's note: **well, we knew that James was never really over Lily here is a glimpse into his truly complicated mind. He's going to keep acting out, ofcourse, but he's going to attempt winning her back. "All's fair in love and war"

And ofcourse, **REVIEW**! or my efforts at trying to write a story are well and truly in vain if no one is actually liking it although thank you very much to those who have reviewed and praised it. A little appreciation is greatly received .


	6. Of sabotage and such

Of sabotage and such

Number of plans concocted by James to sabotage Lily's date: 41

Number of _feasible, realistic or plausible _plans concocted by James: 1

Number of potential date outfits vetoed by Lily: 11

* * *

It was in the early hours of Saturday, the day which Lily would be going to Hogsmeade with Wood, and James had yet to formulate a plan which would work successfully and as Remus politely offered "preferable not illegal" therefore the majority of James' plans conflicted with this.

"_No James you can't use the cruciatus curse"_

"_Yes, the avada kedavra is also illegal"_

"_Honestly, James, do you not think that castrating him is a little bit too harsh?"_

James continued to pace his room in the Head Student dorms, he had cast a silencing charm on the room so that Lily would not be able to hear him and his friends scheming.

Suddenly, an imaginary light bulb appeared over James' head, "I've got it! I'll lock Lily in her room so that she can't go on the date, then Wood will think that she stood him up and will go off with some other bird, then I'll unlock the door so that Lily can get out and she'll see him with said bird and dump his ass and I'll be there to comfort her in her time of need!" James patted himself on the back, he thought his plan, simple, thorough and quite blatantly genius.

He waited for the congratulations to come from his fellow Marauders but he was greeted with a wall of silence. Peter and Remus were passed out on the carpet whereas Sirius was, unenthusiastically, throwing darts onto James' dartboard (which conveniently had a picture of Wood on it).

Sirius decided to give his two knuts on James' so-called "plan of utter genius". "To be perfectly honest, Prongs, that has got to be the shittiest plan I've ever heard. Not only will Lily work out that you locked the door but Wood is too loyal to go off with another bird and would probably resort to finding Lily for himself. Plus, the whole magic wand thing will undoubtedly allow Lily to unlock her bedroom door, you big git!"

James hadn't thought of that but was still a bit peeved that Sirius has waved off his plan so haphazardly. "Well… if you're such a genius then you come up with something; its not as if you've been giving much valuable input tonight!"

Sirius huffed, "need I remind you, mate, that I did not volunteer to be part of this meeting; I came under the intention that you had firewhiskey."

"I did give you firewhiskey!"

"One measly bottle? Psssh…"

"Look, Padfoot, if the situation was reversed that I'd be more than willing to assist you, _my best mate_"

Sirius looked defeated and nodded his head in some sort of agreement, "fine, fine… here's what you do. You know exactly what Lily is repulsed by right?"

"Yeah… well, erm, no. Not really…"

Sirius looked astonished, "you went out with the girl for three months and you don't know her pet peeves? Are you sure that you want to get back together with her?"

"YES!" said James, with too much enthusiasm, "I want it to be different this time. I'm gonna make it all about her! I'm going to love her so much that she's going start being smothered by it"

"Okay, okay I get the picture but FYI, smothering isn't a good thing. Look, Lily used to tell you before that she wouldn't go out with you because you were the most pompous, idiotic, perverted, runt of the litter, arsehole, wan- "

"Look, Sirius, no need to run into details! Just tell me the bloody plan!"

"Well, if Lily wasn't into that back then, then she's hardly going to be into it now so basically you've got to turn Michael into well…you!"

"Okay, but how do I do that?"

"Well, I dunno, James, use that little thing we wizards call: motherfucking MAGIC, you twit! Cunfund him or use the blabbermouth spell or something!" yelled Sirius, in an overly-sarcastic tone!

"Right, gotcha. I'm gonna make that pretty boy the biggest prat you've ever seen, so that he wouldn't even be able to turn Lily on with a switch", said James, rubbing his hands together in a particularly evil way.

"So, in retrospect, you're just going to turn him into you then?"

* * *

Lily stood infront of the mirror in her room, after doing her hair and her make-up and covering herself in a "seductive scent", she had yet to pick an outfit to wear and she had to meet Michael in less than an hour! Piles of discarded clothes were on the floor and her bed. "Dammit, this would be so much easier if Emmy and Alice were here!" she muttered to herself, cursing her friends for being on their respective dates already.

After much deliberation, Lily settled on a strappy green top and her trusted denim skirt. She looked in the mirror with a look of satisfaction on her face. She looked good, even if she did say so herself. She grabbed her bag and left her room and started walk to the portrait hole when a voice like nails on a chalk board came from a high backed chair in the common room.

"You're not going out wearing _that_ are you?" said James, who was now standing up with his eyebrows raised so highly that they seemed to be touching his hairline.

"Not that its any of your business, but yes I am. I wanted to look nice for my _date _with Michael", replied Lily, in a smug voice.

"Oh I get it, you're going on a date, sorry. Its just when I saw the outfit I assumed that you were planning on working the street corners in Hogsmeade. My mistake" returned James with equal smugness.

Lily turned red in the face, "you prick! You seemed perfectly fine with me dressing like this when we were going out!"

"Well, Lilers, like you said before; I've always had a thing for, what was it that you called my taste in woman? Ah yes, sluts."

Lily was having none of his back chat but decided that he was merely jealous about her date so she looked at him calmly and said, "I'm going to leave the room and forget all about you but don't worry I'll be sure to bring you back some leftovers so that your day wasn't entirely pathetic! Au revoir, Potter!" And with that Lily proudly sashayed out of the room and away from the current bane of her existence.

James stood there for a moment and mulled over her words that came to him like a slap on the face. He then, too, calmly walked out of the room (sans the sashaying) with his invisibility cloak in one hand and his wand in the other.

* * *

Lily entered the restaurant, her arm linked with Michael's; James followed behind, covered by his invisibility cloak and practically retching at the sight in front of him. The maitre d' showed Lily and Michael their seats. Like a true gentleman, Michael pulled out Lily's chair for her before tending to his own. James who was sitting in a booth beside them flicked his wand so that Wood's chair slid out from underneath him causing to land on the floor with thump. Lily peered over the table and looked over at Michael who was clearly embarrassed that he had made a mistake in front the best looking girl in Hogwarts. He tried to laugh it off.

"Ha, ha! Lily, isn't that typical? I try to act all cool and suave and it's literally been pulled from underneath me", Michael laughed in a fake way trying to avert the situation whilst Lily grimaced and made the effort to move past this little hurdle.

* * *

James was frustrated. Half an hour into the date and Wood was doing well in spite of the spell that James cast causing him to sing everything he tried to say, in the hopes that Lily would deem him some sort of freak and make a quick exit. Errr… no! She found it funny! Actually funny! Who is she, some of idiot-loving freak? Well, the answer to that would be yes as she accepted to go out with James, himself.

James decided to move things on a bit. He mumbled a quick blabbermouth curse and smirked as he knew that Michael would soon be talking obscenities in front of Lily.

Lily had just began eating her lamb when Michael unintentionally blurted out, "Nice rack, you got there, Evans".

Lily looked up mortified, "Pardon me?"

Michael was bewildered; he hadn't meant to say that, what the hell? He tried to turn the situation around, "I mean… nice rack of lamb, as in the rack… of lamb… that you're, um, eating" said Michael, his face red.

Lily laughed again as she assumed that he was just making a joke and she continued to eat her meal. Michael interjected again by James' intervention.

"Do you take it up the bum?" Michael covered his mouth at what he had just said as Lily looked at him disgusted. "I… I mean, um, do you… get along with your Mum?"

Lily's expression softened as she merely thought that she had misheard what he had just said, she took his sentence to be some small talk to clear the little bout of silence that was currently occurring, "Oh? Well, yes I do. I miss her actually, its hard only seeing her at Christmas, you know? I suppose the cards are nice and everything. But being at Hogwarts is a vast improvement than spending time with the rodent and her boyfriend Vermin…"

Michael looked intrigued, "Who?"

Lily took a sip from her glass as she realised that Michael had yet to be informed of Petunia. "Oh just my sister and her boyfriend. The biggest idiots I've ever had the misfortune of meeting!"

Michael laughed, "I know what you mean! I have a younger sister and she annoys me to no end. I can just about take her in small doses, thank Merlin she's starting Hogwarts next year so I'll be long gone!"

James sat at the next table in a fury. They were bonding? He was supposed to be ruining their date not aiding it altogether! He had one last go at the blabbermouth spell as she flicked his wand and caused Michael to burst out:

"Do you want to have sex in the toilets?"

Lily snapped her head up at his statement, "excuuuuse me, Wood?" she said, throwing his hand away that had previously snuck across the table to hold hers, "what did you just say to me?" Wood could not turn around this statement and James gave him no opportunity to.

Wood carried on, "do you want to have sex in the toilets with me? I've been gagging for it all afternoon and I know that you have too!"

Lily was mortified, "no I have been not!"

Wood continued his 'enticing' speech that James was causing him to say, "oh well, I just assumed since your breasts are out and everything that you wanted to shag. You know, satisfy the beast, let the eel in."

"Is that the impression that I gave you?"

"Well yeah, I only asked you out because I heard that you were easy and good in bed. Maybe you'd rather get on your knees then?"

James sniggered at the last statement and Lily bolted out of her seat and made a run for the door leaving Wood yelling after her "wait Lily, I can explain, wait no I can't. Lily, I didn't mean to say that!...Lily?!"

* * *

James, hurried out of the restaurant door knocking down a waiter carrying drinks who was bewildered to be hit by an invisible wall. He saw Lily storm down the street, so he ran down an alley in the hopes of catching her up at the next turning. He pulled of his cloak and purposely walked into her, knocking her slightly but he grabbed her by waist so that she didn't fall.

She looked up at who she had bumped into, with sad eyes, and upon seeing it was James she merely said to him, "happy?"

James looked down at her sad face which he had ultimately caused, "happy with what?"

"The date sunk faster than the Titanic. I know that makes you satisfied."

Although James was satisfied at his handy work, he hated to see her upset. "No I'm not happy. I hate to see you upset. Although I can say that you are the only girl who can look jaw-droppingly stunning with her eyes all puffy".

Lily laughed at his comment, "yeah sure. I'm still mad at what you said this morning though! Your previous comment won't save you."

"Can I buy you a butterbeer to redeem myself?" offered James, with every fibre of his being hoping that Lily would accept.

"Buy me two and I'll possibly consider it" she laughed.

James put his arm around her shoulder which she then shrugged off. He rolled his eyes, "jeez, touchy much" he said to himself.

"Boys are jerks" said Lily.

"I know" comforted James.

"They're all a waste of reproductive cells"

"I know"

"And they're all big, self-loving, impotent bastards"

"I kn-, hey!"

"You're alright I suppose. Sometimes. In a blue moon…"

"I know" smirked James. "I'm am so close to getting her back", said James to himself. His mind then told him "don't screw it up this time, Potter".

"I kn-. Oh for the love of Merlin I'm not having an argument with my mind again.

"Suit yourself" it replied.

* * *

**Author's Note: **a big develop in their relationship, lets put it that way but all the hurdles haven't been cleared you know.

As always: **Review! **Please, S'il vous plait, Por favor, Más é do thoil é!


	7. Of headaches, hangovers and hickeys

Number of firewhiskies downed by James: 16

Number of firewhiskies downed by Lily: 14

Memories? O

* * *

The sun shone through a small opening in the drapes, burning into Lily's eyes as she tentatively opened them. "Urrrgh… my head", Lily groaned as she rolled over and buried her head in her pillow.

"Well, good morning sleepyhead", came a spritely voice from next to her.

Lily froze. "There is someone in bed…", she said internally, too afraid to open her eyes.

"Lily, I know what you're thinking and no, you haven't slept with someone. I really don't swing that way".

Lily rolled over to see the glimmering blonde hair of Emmeline Vance sprayed over the pillow next to her. "Thank god for that, Emmy! I was worried I'd been an absolute floozy last night!"

"Err… well, floozy isn't the right word per se but you were certainly in a libidinous mood. That's for sure", Emmeline replied looking at the canapy above her.

"What do you mean?" said Lily, bolting upright too quickly. "Ooof, my poor head!"

Emmeline put a glass of water in her hand. "Drink this, you'll feel better".

Lily downed the glass and looked for her wand to fill it up again. "Emmy, what the hell happened last night?"

Emmeline sat up in the bed, facing Lily and took a deep breath, whilst mentally preparing herself for the loud reaction which was sure to come. "Well, Madame Rosmerta threw you and James out of the Three Broomsticks. She said that your 'violent make out session was scaring off her potential customers' ".

"Oh merlin… why do I do this to myself?" Lily groaned, burying her hands in her hair.

Emmeline looked bemused. "Well, you were certainly enjoying yourself last night. At the table, against the wall, by the bar, by the snooker table, on the snooker table… yes I think you definitely did your old man proud with those antics".

"I'm guessing everyone saw me then?"

"Lily, that's a rhetorical question. Of course everyone saw you. I wouldn't be surprised if you made the society section of the Prophet. Anyway, after you were kindly asked to leave, I took you back to mine. I figured if I sent you back to the Head Dorms with Potter, you'd do the dirty and I don't think that having a drunken shag is really your thing".

Lily got out of bed without a word. She was slightly peeved at Emmeline if she was quite honest. 'Why didn't she stop me in the pub?'

"I tried and you told me to stop being frigid", Emmeline quipped.

"Ok, how are you managing to read my mind. You didn't tell me you were a legilimens!", Lily fumed, pointing the chipped finger.

"Lily, you're probably still cauldroned, you've lost control over your inner monologue and besides, what you think is usually written all over your face", came the snooty reply. "Are you coming to breakfast or not? I'm famished!" cried Emmy, rubbing her flat stomach.

Lily contemplated the consequences of her actions. Everyone had seen. Everyone knew and everyone would talk. "Might as well get my prison sentence over and done with. Let's go", Lily exclaimed walking to the bedroom door.

"Lilers, put some clothes on for goodness sakes…"

"Right, fantastic idea! Can I borrow some?"

Emmeline handed her jeans, a blouse and chunky knit scarf.

"Why the scarf?", Lily asked confusedly.

"You'll see", replied Emmeline, smiling at her feet whilst getting dressed herself.

Lily walked into the adjacent bathroom so she could get changed in private. She splashed water on her face and took a good look in the mirror. Oh. My. God. Lily's eyes bulged out of their sockets as she took in the five… no wait, six hickeys littered over her neck. "What am I? Some horny slag?", she cried.

"Yes!" screamed Emmeline from next door.

* * *

The energy in the Great Hall was electric. As Lily has presumed, the entire student population was buzzing with last night's antics. The redhead had yet to entire the Hall for breakfast, so eyes were firmly glued to the Head Boy who was digging into his food.

"More eggs", mumbled James through the mouthful of food in his mouth.

Remus pushed the plate towards him hesitantly.

"Oh for fuck's sake", cried Sirus. "Are we seriously going to ignore the massive Hippogriff in the room? Prongs, start talking or I'll knee you in the nuts".

James looked up him, unimpressed. No one dared to come anywhere dear to Prongs Jr. Well, minus a particular individual. "What?"

"You and Evans, you horny stag. You were all over each other. I thought that was all over?" Black was as keen for gossip as anyone else.

"Nope".

Remus interjected, "didn't see say she wouldn't touch you with somebody else's ten foot barge pole?"

"I thought it was a ten foot Quidditch broom", Peter added.

"You're both wrong. It was a 15 foot flaming torch", interrupted Emmeline, sitting down at the long table and pulling Lily in beside her.

The Hall went silent. The horny couple who were draped all over each other were now sat directly opposite one another at breakfast. Students were itching to see what would happen.

Sirius took the immediate opportunity to begin the ridicule. "Lovely, scarf Lily. I hear heavy wool is great for late spring weather. Covering that swan like neck of yours for a reason?"

James' head shot up. 'He had marked her!' He smirked into goblet of orange juice pleased that when she had woken up she would've been given an immediate reminder of last night. Sure he had been drunk too but he could handle his booze. He knew exactly what he had been doing….

* * *

_"He asked me for a blowjob!" Lily said, slurring her words as she knocked back another shot of alcohol. "Who does he even think he is? Does he even know who I am? I'm a prude! Well, a once in a while sex-crazed prude but he goddamn wishes!"_

_James sucked on a piece of lime, knowing that although he cast the blabbermouth spell over Wood, those words were entirely his own. He'd beat him up later. "I don't blame him really"._

_"You calling me a slut, you four-eyed freak?" Lily was open mouth and bleary eyed, looking at the boy next to her. _

_"Not at all. All I'm saying is that I don't blame the guy for having those kind of thoughts around you, Evans. Look at you, a guy can't come within ten feet off you without fantasising. Believe me, I know". James necked his own shot before looking at her intensely. _

_Lily looked at him from underneath her lashes, biting her full bottom lip at the same time. She hoped she looked sexy and not like a blithering idiot. "Even you?" she whispered coyly_

_"Especially me but you already knew that" James replied, a smouldering look crossing his face as he drank in the beauty before him. He edged closer, hoping to gauge her reaction to what he was about to do next. She didn't move but looked straight back at him. He knew that look._

_He brushed he long, thick hair behind her shoulder before placing a soft kiss behind her ear lobe. She let out a deep sigh which he took as a sign of encouragement. He pulled her onto his lap before pulling the soft lobe into his mouth between his teeth…_

_Oh yes, he knew that look. _

* * *

"Shut it, Black, if you know what's good for you".

The group finished their breakfast in silence. James knew that he and Lily would talk that night; they had to go over the patrol rota and hand it into McGonagall by seven. He ignored the thudding of his heart, whilst Lily's knees would innocently brush his own.

He missed that look already.


End file.
